Totally Bulls*it News

He Used Legal Cannabis, Nothing Really Happened

Later he said he smoked the cannabis, and "ate a bunch of chips," which he later confirmed was the whole bag. In California, a man...

Trump Bans Ramps, Gentle Declines, Hills, and Slopes

President Donald trump has officially decreed that the United States of America will "no longer have any purple mountains majesty or even greenish little hills."

Tucker Carlson Adds Two Ks to First Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is...

Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that...

NASCAR Assures Fans They’ll See Confederate Flag Before Every Final Lap

DAYTONA BEACH, FLORIDA -- Yesterday, NASCAR announced that it was banning...

Trump Orders Confederate Flags Lowered to Half-Staff to Honor MAGAs Lost to Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- His critics have started to take notice that...

Trump to Rename Military Bases After Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Protests over the killing of George Floyd, an...

Big Tech Censorship? Pictures of Trump’s Neck Getting Removed from Facebook

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Representatives from the two largest social...

Trump Supporter Won’t Wear Mask, Seatbelt, or Condom

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- If there is one thing that...

Basic White Woman Who’s Never Interacted With Cops Against Defunding Them

LAS ESTUPIDAS BLANCAS, CALIFORNIA -- 38 year old cosmetics consultant Christiana...

Mexico Offers to Pay to Remove Trump’s White House Wall

DELAWARE -- The Joe Biden presidential campaign received a letter from...