Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Orders George Soros to Defund Antifa

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an executive order he's calling "bigly urgent...

Biden Pledges to Name Military Base Latrines After Trump Loyalists

Former Vice-President Joe Biden has announced that should he win the...

COVID-19 Forces Jesus to Delay Second Coming

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Concerns about the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak,...

Trump Starting New Website With Ivanka: OnlyFams

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he cannot legally, and he promises he...

He Thinks Face Masks Are Tyranny. He Also Loves Trump’s Goon Squad. Doctors Don’t Know How He Lives Without a Brain.

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins...

Palpatine Blames ‘AntiSith Anarchists’ for Use of Death Star on Alderaan

CORUSCANT -- In an emergency address, Emperor Sheev Palpatine confirmed that...

Trump: “Some Very Fine People Pimped Out Little Girls for Jeffrey Epstein and His Friends!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Once again today, the President of the United...