Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

NRA Member Vows to Triple Donations to Group That’s Robbed Him Blind for 25 Years

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins bills himself as "the...

ISIS Offers NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Interim Position

SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- This morning, the New York Attorney General...

Kayleigh McEnany’s Cross Bursts Into Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There was a brief scare during White House...

Mattel Releasing “Nazi Press Secretary Barbie”

EL SEGUNDO, CALIFORNIA -- Just in time for Christmas shopping, the...

Trump Campaign Launches TikiTok Video App for White Nationalist Supporters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not President Donald Trump has the...

Biden Campaign Asks Jonathan Swan to Debate Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Joe Biden 2020 campaign has reportedly reached...

Absolute Moron Makes Up Shit About Mail-In Voting

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A bloviating, mentally deteriorating, egomaniacal, white collar criminal...

CDC Releases Study Using Demonic Semen, Alien DNA, and Unicorn Blood to Treat COVID-19

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control published a highly-anticipated...

Trump Asks Barr If Democrats Can Be Stripped of Their Citizenship

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Poll after poll is starting to paint a...