Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

FEC Warns Americans to Look Out For Deepfakes That Make Trump Look Competent or Intelligent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Federal Elections Commission is imploring all American...

Antifa Corporate HQ Endorses Joe Biden for President

CUCKTOWN, COMMIEFORNIA -- With far less than a hundred days before...

Campbell’s Unveils New “Homestyle Chunky Antifa Missile Stew”

CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY -- Campbell's Soup announced today that a brand...

Trump Warns That If Bidens Wins, America Will Look An Awful Lot Like America Looks Now

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If Joe Biden defeats Donald Trump in the...

Ivanka: “If Anyone is Stroking Daddy, I Would Know About It!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Why was President Donald J. Trump rushed to...

MAGA and ISIS Begin Terrorist Exchange Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- ISIS and MAGA have announced a new, joint...

STUDY: The Worst-Run Democrat Cities Are in The Worst-Run Republican Country

A newly published study seems to indicate that all the worst-run...

Trump Jr Wonders If Biden Can Snort a 3AM Adderall Bump in an Emergency

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- In American politics, a question gets...

Can America Ever Return to a Simpler Time With Less White Nationalist Violence and More Demon Semen?

In Kenosha, Wisconsin and Portland, Oregon last week, Americans watched in...

Kellyanne Conway Jumps Into Dumpster Fire ‘Once More For Old Times’ Sake’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities in the nation's capital are reporting that...