Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump Thought IRS Stood For “I Repulsed Stormy”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to an explosive new report in The New...

Biden: “I Know Watching People Piss Might Be His Thing, But I Won’t Be Taking Trump’s Drug Test”

DELAWARE -- President Donald Trump really, really, really wants former Vice President Joe...

In 2017, Trump Spent $750 in Taxes, and $750,000 in Big Macs

This weekend, The Failing Any Minute Now, We Promise, They Really ARE...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been...

Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1862, as the country fought in pitched...

Well That’s It. The Republicans Have Convinced Me. I am NOT Voting for Hunter Biden!

Editor's Note: The following is an editorial written by the Editor In...

President Trump Promises Peaceful Transfer of Power to John Barron, David Dennison, or Bobby Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump caused quite a commotion...

Louisville DA: “Black Lives Matter, But Drywall Matters Enough to Charge Someone”

LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY -- A night of civil unrest in Louisville unfolded...

Remembering When Obama Wouldn’t Commit to a Peaceful Transfer of Power and Republicans Were Like, “Meh.”

Yesterday, veteran journalist Brian Karem asked President Donald Trump the kind...