Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Op-Ed: We Need a Cure. Not Even the Coronavirus Deserves to Be Subjected to Stephen Miller.

The following editorial absolutely reflects the views and opinions of this...

Trump: “205,000 Americans Were Pussies Who Let COVID Dominate Them!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Generalisimo Donald Trump made his triumphant, glorious return...

President…Donald…Trump…Has Totally…and Completely…Beaten…the Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One thing is...very...clear...President Donald...Trump...has completely...and utterly...destroyed...the coronavirus. ALSO: American...

American Dental Association Says Lying Through Your Teeth Greatly Increases Risk of Covid-19 Infection

The American Dental Association has issued a statement advising that there...

Did an Antifa Agent Cough on Trump’s Debate Microphone?

How did President Donald Trump contract COVID-19? Will the world ever...

Report: Coronavirus Devastated, Despondent, and Suicidal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump has promised the American people several...

Trump Demands to Know Which Asshole Botched Covid So Bad He Got It

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States and his...

Biden Will Ask Trump to Be Fitted With Sweat-Activated Muzzle Prior to Next Debate

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Last night's presidential debate between former Vice President...

300 lb. Toddler Throws 90-Minute Tantrum

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- A massive, 300-pound orange toddler stood on a...