Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Ratcliffe: “Putin Has Assured Me Hunter Biden’s Laptop Isn’t Russian Disinformation”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning former Congressman John Ratcliffe, Director of...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House...

Lindsey Graham Spotted Rushing to White House With UV Light and Colonoscopy Hose

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout...

Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several...

Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike...

World’s Toughest, Strongest Alpha Male Chickens Out of Second Debate With Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the presidential debate commission announced that...

Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship...

Op-Ed: We Need a Cure. Not Even the Coronavirus Deserves to Be Subjected to Stephen Miller.

The following editorial absolutely reflects the views and opinions of this...

Trump: “205,000 Americans Were Pussies Who Let COVID Dominate Them!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Generalisimo Donald Trump made his triumphant, glorious return...

President…Donald…Trump…Has Totally…and Completely…Beaten…the Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One thing is...very...clear...President Donald...Trump...has completely...and utterly...destroyed...the coronavirus. ALSO: American...