Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trump: “When You Look At Countries Called The United States, We’re Doing the Best”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a new interview with Fox News host...

Biden Supporters Surround Trump Bus and Tell It How to Get to Sesame Street

CHINGADAS, TEXAS -- A tense situation in Texas has resolved itself,...

Brett Favre ‘Thankful’ for Career Full of Head Injuries That Inspired Him to Vote for Trump

Yesterday, former NFL quarterback Brett Favre made national headlines. It's not...

Asshole Dresses as President for Final Halloween in the White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the fourth consecutive year, the asshole who...

Mother Checks Purse for Drugs Before Taking Her Kids Trick or Treating

STINK NUT FALLS, IDAHO -- 35 year old Shelly Skalski is...

Biden Plans to Deploy Official Democrat Antifa Squads In the Event of Post-Election Civil Unrest

SCHLANGE LAKE, FLORIDA -- Just after concluding a campaign stop in...

On Her 39th Birthday, Ivanka’s Just One Year From Being Traded For Younger, Hotter Daughter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told his First Lady that...

Televangelist Publishes “MAGA-Friendly” Bible Just Three Pages Long

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Bill Millen, a self-described "televangelist for Trump,"...

President Declares Tampa Bay Rays Winners of World Series ‘By Electoral College Rules’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Los Angeles Dodgers capped off a season...

Dinesh D’Souza Can’t Quite Bring Himself to Call Klansman a “Liberal” to His Hooded Face

IDIOTA, MONTANA -- While on a publicity tour promoting his latest...