Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Lying Fuck Reminds America The Constitution Says He’s Not Done Lying To Them Until January 21st, 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Almost two weeks ago, an unctuous, fatuous, impetuous,...

Biden Supports Recounts So ‘Americans Can Watch Trump Lose As Many Times As He Wants’

WINURZ, DELAWARE -- This morning, President-Elect Joe Biden was spotted taking...

Citing Pending Litigation, the Black Knight Refuses to Concede

THE FORESTS OF ENGLAND -- Despite the fact that he is...

Biden Legally Changes Middle Name to “Fuck Trump”

HAWKEYE, DELAWARE -- Today, President-elect Joe Biden did what his transition...

Report: Is Donald Trump Gonna Cry About It?

Is Donald Trump going to cry about it? The signs are...

James O’Queef Claims to Have Eyewitness Who Saw 3.2 Trillion Trump Votes Launched Into Space

FUKWHIT, NEW YORK -- James O'Queef III and his Project Bullshitas...

Zuckerberg Planning Separate Social Media Site Just for White Nationalists Called “Facebook”

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, COMMIEFORNIA -- Billionaire automaton Mark Zuckerberg has been...

RNC Quietly Removes “Supporting American Democracy” from Party Platform

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Republican National Committee has taken down the...