Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's highly anticipated first presidential memoir,...

Zuckerberg Says He Can’t Ban Steve Bannon Until He Orders the Killing of At Least 15% of Facebook’s Users

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Not long ago, Twitter permanently banned...

Impeached Sore Loser Continues to Pout Like a Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than two weeks ago, the country decided...

Florida Swamp and New York Dump Finalists for Trump Presidential Library

Presidential libraries are often planned and built once the nation's chief...

Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- None of the legal proceedings initiated by the...

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT -- Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin...

Ben Shapiro’s Wife Tells Him There’s Something ‘Wrong’ With Her Pussy After Watching “Braveheart”

It started simply enough. A tweet written by conservative commentator and...

Eric Trump: “You Can Tell The Election Was Rigged Because Daddy Didn’t Win!”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Eric Trump, the third-most intelligent male...