Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Coronavirus Placed on 24-Hour Suicide Watch

Authorities are telling us that the novel coronavirus, known globally as...

5 Manly Ways to Cry Like a Bitch Because Your Incompetent Bully President Lost to Sleepy Joe

Okay, so your incompetent bitch bull of a president didn't win....

Kellyanne Conway Chose…Poorly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In hindsight, her friends and family say that...

Trump Campaign Legal Team Scouring Constitution for ‘Stamping Feet and Holding Breath’ Clause

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The days are growing shorter, and Donald Trump's...

DeVos Trying to Teach Trump How to Read and Write So He Can Write His Presidential Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- He hasn't given up on stealing the election...

5 Fun Facts About Sidney Powell, The Rat-Faced Scarecrow Attempting to Steal Our Election

Yesterday, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani -- whose only role...

Obama Warns Biden Against Tan Suits and Dijon Mustards

SECRET KENYAN SHARIA BUNKER -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump may...

Parler Changes Name to “Fecebook”

RIKELAND, NEVADA -- The new social media site known as Parler...