Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Trumpist Strikes a Blow for Freedom by Giving His Grandmother Covid-19 on Thanksgiving

DIPSHIT COVE, MICHIGAN -- Stephan Crowzer, a 36-year old self-described "die...

Trump Asks SCOTUS to Force States to Count Votes Using Three-Fifths Compromise

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The failing Donald Trump re-election campaign has filed...

After Playing Fetch With Tiffany, Trump Says His Bone Spurs Feel Just Fine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump is resting comfortably,...

President Finds It Hard To Believe 80 Million Fuckin’ Assholes and Losers Voted For Biden and Not Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the final analysis, President Donald J. Trump...

Trump Names Randy Quaid New Head of Legal Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sidney Powell, the rat-faced scarecrow trying to steal...

Crews Greasing Door Hinges In Case Trump Has to be Pushed Out of White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether he wants to leave or not, by...

Cruz Warns Democrats Might Try to Steal Future Elections With More Votes than Republicans

RIO PINCHE CULERO, TEXAS -- Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump's Taint) warned...

Trump Supporter Presents Mexico With Bill for “Billions of Miles of Trump’s Wall”

COLD CAVE HILLS TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins...

Trump Administration Will Start Giving Biden Transition Team Covfefe Briefings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though he seems intent on never technically conceding...