Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Gaetz Says He Has Proof of Deep State Coup Against Trump Enlisting 80 Million American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the nation's most accomplished functional alcoholics...

Heartbroken Trump Boys Think They Have to Call Joe Biden “Daddy” Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump...

Users Spot eBay Listings for The Lincoln Bedroom Set and The President’s Resolute Desk

Users of the auction and sale website eBay are reporting a...

Racist Rectal Warts Are Leaving Facebook and Twitter for Parler

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- The battle for social media supremacy...

A List of The Totally Innocent Offspring Who Might Get a Trump Pardon

Presidential pardons are quite powerful. If there's a federal law or...

Trump Asks Pentagon to ‘Quietly’ Put a Dozen F-35 Jets in His Florida Storage Unit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While he continues to wage losing legal battles...

Horny Jesus Reminds You He’s Also the Reason for the Squeezin’

SEXXXY HEAVEN -- Horny Jesus Christ, the super-sexed-up version of the...

Report: FBI Investigating Whether Trump Spent $3 Million in Wisconsin Buying Votes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The FBI has opened a new investigation into...

In 5-4 Decision, Supreme Court Says Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Supreme Court ruled last week, in...