Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Least Popular President In History Still Struggling to Cope With Losing Popularity Contest

The least popularly elected president, who ended up being the least...

Trump Looking Forward to Spending Less Time With ‘Homewrecker’ Jared Kushner

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say that President Donald Trump has given...

Trump Gives Nunes Glowing Recommendation for New Job in the Porn Industry

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is quite a lot of work to...

Trump Pardons Benedict Arnold, Robert E. Lee, and Himself

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing, one-term, lame duck, permanently impeached President...

Report: The Secret Service Will Lead Trump Out of White House Using French Fry Trail

Getting President Donald Trump to accept that he lost last month's...

On January 20th, 2021 Trump Will Become The 45th Most Intelligent Former President in History

To say that President Donald Trump undertook a historic presidential term...

Hannity Says Trump Is ‘Still the Manliest Sore Loser Cry Baby Bitch’ He’s Ever Known

With each passing day, President Donald Trump's time in office grows...

Gaetz and Jordan Insist Trump Must Have Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For more than a month now, elected Republican...