Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Obama Warns Biden Against Tan Suits and Dijon Mustards

SECRET KENYAN SHARIA BUNKER -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump may...

Parler Changes Name to “Fecebook”

RIKELAND, NEVADA -- The new social media site known as Parler...

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's highly anticipated first presidential memoir,...

Zuckerberg Says He Can’t Ban Steve Bannon Until He Orders the Killing of At Least 15% of Facebook’s Users

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Not long ago, Twitter permanently banned...

Impeached Sore Loser Continues to Pout Like a Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than two weeks ago, the country decided...

Florida Swamp and New York Dump Finalists for Trump Presidential Library

Presidential libraries are often planned and built once the nation's chief...

Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- None of the legal proceedings initiated by the...

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT -- Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin...

Ben Shapiro’s Wife Tells Him There’s Something ‘Wrong’ With Her Pussy After Watching “Braveheart”

It started simply enough. A tweet written by conservative commentator and...