Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Over Christmas, Trump’s Kids Asked Him If They Can Strip the White House of Silverware and Copper Wiring

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outwardly, the President of the United States of...

Biden Hires New Moving Company to Assist Trump’s Exit from White House

The Biden transition team has hired "Yes We Can Move You!,"...

Can You Guess How Many Terms Donald Trump Will Serve as President Based on These Four Clues?

How many terms will Donald Trump serve as president? Depending on...

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell Still a Villainous Cartoon Character Piece of Shit

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two-thirds of the House of Representatives, the President...

Fertilizer Company Hires McEnany

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When she leaves her post as White House...

Experts Have a Chilling Warning: The Next Republican Coup Could Be Less Stupid

What would happen if there was a coup attempted by one...

After Biden is Sworn In, Trump Will Be The 45th Most Intelligent Former President Ever

A version of this story also appeared on NotReally.news. To say that...

Jordan and Gaetz Say Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really...

Biden Posts Eviction Notices on White House Doors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was reported by Satirical Facts...

Experts Warn the Next Republican Coup Attempt Could Be a Lot Less Stupid

What would happen if there was a coup attempted by one...