Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Gaetz and Jordan: Trump Won Because They ‘Wouldn’t Blow Just Any Old Loser’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The results of last month's presidential haven't really...

Mexico Sends Final $0.00 Check For Trump’s Wall

The following story was originally filed by Alternative Facts. MEXICO CITY, MEXICO...

Jordan: Winning Back House and Impeaching Hunter Biden’s Laptop Are GOP’s Top Priorities

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Exactly when, or if, most congressional Republicans will...

Biden Suggests Injecting Bleach Into Mop Buckets

DELAWARE -- When he said it, the entire room took notice. "Call...

Trump Asks Treasury to Print a Few Million Bucks He Can Take Home After Leaving Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not he states it publicly, it...

Josh Hawley Will Contest Electoral College’s Certification of Black Votes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, outgoing, lame duck, one-term no matter...

Trump Disappointed to Leave Office Without Wind Cancer Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For a one-term president, regrets about unfinished work...

Over Christmas, Trump’s Kids Asked Him If They Can Strip the White House of Silverware and Copper Wiring

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outwardly, the President of the United States of...

Biden Hires New Moving Company to Assist Trump’s Exit from White House

The Biden transition team has hired "Yes We Can Move You!,"...

Can You Guess How Many Terms Donald Trump Will Serve as President Based on These Four Clues?

How many terms will Donald Trump serve as president? Depending on...