Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

4 Contests of Skill, Intellect, or Athleticism That Were Also Rigged Against Donald Trump

Everyone knows that Donald Trump won the 2020 presidential election, that...

Trump Asserts His Right to Commit Impeachable Offenses Until Joe Biden is Sworn-In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump is entitled, as president, to commit...

The Klan Told Kayleigh McEnany She’s ‘Too Full of Shit’ to Work For Them

All or part of this story first appeared on The Pastiche...

Trump Pressured Raffensperger to Help Him Find 15 More States to Count Votes From

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outgoing President Donald Trump is not what most...

Cruz Warns Democrats Might Try to Steal Future Elections With More Votes than Republicans

This story was first published by our sister publication, The Pastiche Post,...

Trump To Give Jordan and Nunes Presidential Medal of Having a Purty Mouth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are just barely over two weeks left...

Ted Cruz Will Demand Congress Certify He’s a Ball-less Douche With an Ugly Wife

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before the 2016 presidential race, Sen. Ted Cruz...

Experts Weigh-In: Can Trump Just Sit in an RV Parked in the White House Driveway for Four Years?

If there has been one thing that has been complete, undeniable...

Adorable! The Trump Boys Have Started Calling Joe Biden “Daddy”

All or part of this story was first published on The Political...

Weird: This Stupid Racist Doesn’t Want Black People’s Votes to Count

This man is Senator Josh Hawley. He's a Republican, and he...