Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Gaetz Says He Has Proof of Deep State Coup Against Trump Enlisting 80 Million American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the nation's most accomplished functional alcoholics...

Heartbroken Trump Boys Think They Have to Call Joe Biden “Daddy” Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- When or if President Donald Trump...

Users Spot eBay Listings for The Lincoln Bedroom Set and The President’s Resolute Desk

Users of the auction and sale website eBay are reporting a...

Racist Rectal Warts Are Leaving Facebook and Twitter for Parler

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- The battle for social media supremacy...

In 5-4 Decision, Supreme Court Says Jesus Is the Reason for the Season

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Supreme Court ruled last week, in...

Trumpist Strikes a Blow for Freedom by Giving His Grandmother Covid-19 on Thanksgiving

DIPSHIT COVE, MICHIGAN -- Stephan Crowzer, a 36-year old self-described "die...

Trump Asks SCOTUS to Force States to Count Votes Using Three-Fifths Compromise

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The failing Donald Trump re-election campaign has filed...

After Playing Fetch With Tiffany, Trump Says His Bone Spurs Feel Just Fine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump is resting comfortably,...

President Finds It Hard To Believe 80 Million Fuckin’ Assholes and Losers Voted For Biden and Not Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the final analysis, President Donald J. Trump...

Trump Names Randy Quaid New Head of Legal Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sidney Powell, the rat-faced scarecrow trying to steal...