Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Supreme Court Rules the Constitution Still Takes Precedence Over Presidential Egos

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, the Supreme Court put what could...

Supreme Court Decides: ‘Fuck Trump’s Feelings’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In three days, the Electoral College will meet...

Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing president isn't done filing lawsuits with...

TIME Magazine Names Trump ‘Sore Loser Crybaby Bitch of the Year’

This week, TIME Magazine named President and Vice-President-elect Joe Biden and...

106 Republican Congressmen Order Eggs Benedict for Caucus Breakfast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Something rather extraordinary happened this morning. Over one...

106 House Republicans Sign Brief With Supreme Court Declaring Trump’s Genitals ‘Tasty and Habit-Forming’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the days in both the Trump administration...

48 States File Federal Suit Claiming Facebook Should Be Broken Up Into Smaller Havens for White Nationalism

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Forty-eight of the fifty states in the union...

Trump Sues Trump Campaign for Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his single term as...

Trump Claims Alternative Victory in Alternative Election and Will Stay On As President of Alternate Reality

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump is growing more and more desperate...

20 States Sue Texas for Being Embarrassing Morons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Twenty individual states have filed an emergency countersuit...