Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Obama Hopes Biden Remembers How to Take Everyone’s Guns, Jobs, and Bibles

UNDISCLOSED SHARIA COMMIE SOCIALIST BUNKER, SOROSLAND -- It's been four long...

Biden Still Has Not Announced An Ambassador to Thighland

There are so many things for an incoming presidential administration to...

White House Staff Asks Biden if He Needs the Presidential High Chair

The incoming Biden administration has been contacted by White House staff...

Ben Carson Confident He’s Going to Win Donald Trump’s Chocolate Factory

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If he hangs on for just another few...

Trump Orders Jack Tweeter Arrested for Treason

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It was no surprise when the order came...

Trump Says He Won’t Participate in Biden’s Inauguration or The Next Olympics

It was never really that much in doubt, but outgoing, lame duck, one-term,...

Biden Team Asks White House to Take Down Sexy Photos of First Lady By January 20th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The incoming Biden administration has asked President Donald...

Cruz Says He and His Ugly Wife Are Appalled By Pro-Trump Violent Mob He Incited

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- Just days before the violent pro-Trump mob ransacked...

ISIS Arranges Trade With U.S. For Hawley, Cruz, and Trump

The details of a new blockbuster trade in the Major Leagues...

Betsy Devos Confident She’s Leaving the Education Department in a ‘Much More Gooder Place’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She was quite literally almost not confirmed, and...