Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Op-Ed: Won’t Somebody Do Something About Trumpists Losing Their Social Media Followers?!

The following editorial was written by Bill Dickerdolldildo. Mr. Dickerdolldildo is...

QAnon Shaman Won’t Eat Unless Its Organic or Trump’s Ass

While in federal custody, Jacob Chansley -- known worldwide now as "The...

For Security Purposes, Biden May Be Given Oath of Office in a High School Science Class

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After last week's deadly domestic terror attack on...

Biden Cancels White House Subscription to Ivanka’s OnlyFans

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In about a week, First Lady Ivanka Trump...

Gold Digging Racist Asshole Has Lost All Interest in Pretending to Be First Lady

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the world's most famous gold miners...

North Korea Gives Ashli Babbit Posthumous Medal

The Democratic Republic of North Korea has issued one of the...

Ivanka Doesn’t Think She Should Have to Sleep Her Way to the Top of the Trump Organization Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- People in her orbit are telling media sources...

Divorcing Pence and Trump Argue Over Who Gets Custody of Imprisoned Children at Border

America's most bitterly public divorce just got, somehow, even more testy....

Parler Now Being Hosted on Klansman’s Tandy 1000

The alt-right social media app Parler was taken offline when Amazon...

Trump Has Been Calling Random Supporters to Yell Lies At Them 280 Characters at a Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States was permanently...