Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

National Association of A-Holes Kicks Cruz Out Over His Role in Stoking Capitol Riot

CULERO, TEXAS -- The National Association of A-Holes has decided to...

Biden Says Nuclear Codes Can No Longer Be ‘Password123’

DELAWARE -- Incoming President-elect Joe Biden told reporters today that Americans...

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert Form ‘Congressional Guano Caucus’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two new freshman congresswomen have teamed up to...

Michele Bachmann Sees Her Own ‘Undeniable Genius’ in Lauren Boebert

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During her time in the U.S House of...

Ivanka Assures Rudy Her Daddy ‘Can’t Stiff Anyone For Too Long’

Reports are starting to circulate that President Donald Trump, who has...

All The Presidents Who Were Impeached Twice

History is long, sure, but like, really long. Apparently, history goes back, literally...

Gaetz: “In America, It’s Three Insurrections and You’re Out, Not One!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For two hours this morning, the House of...

McEnany and Miller Cleaning Out McNugget Dipping Sauces From Resolute Desk Drawers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There are just seven days left on President...