Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Draft of Trump’s Farewell Address Leaks

In less than 48 hours, Donald Trump will no longer be...

GOP Donors Tell Trump They Want Evidence He Can Read Before Giving to His Presidential Library

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald J. Trump will only be president for...

Twitter Suspends Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Crack Pipe

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Over the weekend, freshman Congresswoman Marjorie...

Trump Asks Why It’s Not Called “Chocolate MLK Day”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Martin Luther King Jr.,  the icon of the...

To Discourage Another Attack, Biden May Taken Oath of Office in a Science Class

This story has been reprinted with full permission from The Pastiche Post. WASHINGTON,...

Trump Jr: “You Ever Notice the Democrats Won’t Impeach The President of China?”

This story is reprinted with permission from The Pastiche Post. NEW YORK, NEW...

Instead of a Library, Trump Wants to Open a Presidential Hooters Franchise

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Most of the modern presidents have, upon leaving...

White House Engineers Preparing to Remove Baby Gates and Bumper Rails

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In just a matter of days, a new...

Biden to Dismantle McDonald’s Kitchen the Previous Administration Installed

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The permanent staff of the White House is...

Genealogist Discovers Recessive ‘Beta’ Gene In People Who Violently Protest Accepting Defeat

Last week, America witnessed in horror as thousands of angry, bitter...