Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

White House Engineers Preparing to Remove Baby Gates and Bumper Rails

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In just a matter of days, a new...

Biden to Dismantle McDonald’s Kitchen the Previous Administration Installed

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The permanent staff of the White House is...

Genealogist Discovers Recessive ‘Beta’ Gene In People Who Violently Protest Accepting Defeat

Last week, America witnessed in horror as thousands of angry, bitter...

National Association of A-Holes Kicks Cruz Out Over His Role in Stoking Capitol Riot

CULERO, TEXAS -- The National Association of A-Holes has decided to...

Biden Says Nuclear Codes Can No Longer Be ‘Password123’

DELAWARE -- Incoming President-elect Joe Biden told reporters today that Americans...

Biden Cancels White House Subscription to Ivanka’s OnlyFans

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In about a week, First Lady Ivanka Trump...

Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert Form ‘Congressional Guano Caucus’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two new freshman congresswomen have teamed up to...

Michele Bachmann Sees Her Own ‘Undeniable Genius’ in Lauren Boebert

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During her time in the U.S House of...

Ivanka Assures Rudy Her Daddy ‘Can’t Stiff Anyone For Too Long’

Reports are starting to circulate that President Donald Trump, who has...