Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Report: Sleepy Joe Woke Up This Morning and Sniffed The White House Air

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President "Sleepy" Joe Biden shocked millions...

Putin Admits He’s Feeling Down About Being a One Term President Installer

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- He's finally had enough time to process it....

Biden Declares He Doesn’t ‘Give a Shit’ About How Big His Inaugural Crowd Size Was

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many, many years how large a crowd...

Biden ‘Not Likely’ to Continue Presidential Tradition of Staring Straight Into an Eclipse

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Every four years, the United States of America...

The President of the United States is No Longer Banned from Twitter

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Twitter announced just after 12:00pm Eastern...

“But I’m For Law and Order!” Shouts the Cultist Being Arrested for Their Attempted Coup

FT. DUMFUK, TENNESSEE -- "But I'm for law and order! Don't you...

Trump Will Just Sit in the Oval Office and Masturbate to Old Apprentice Tapes While Biden is Sworn-In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Most people didn't have any notion that soon-to-be-former...

Trump Will Spend Last Day as President Farting in Every Room in The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump has just barely over 24 hours...

Boebert and Taylor Greene to Star in OAN’s “Real Housewives of QAnon”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Far-right media outlet OAN has announced that it...