Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

McConnell: “Nobody’s Above the Law Except for D-List Reality TV Game Show Hosts”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Moscow) asserted as...

Man Finds Ted Cruz Drowning and Throws Him a Cement Life Preserver

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While it's not clear at this time exactly...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Says You Can’t Impeach Former God Emperor Kings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman Qongresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene is firmly and...

Hawley, Cruz, and Paul Leave GOP and Start the “Lost Cause Party”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the mid-19th century, the United States of...

Cruz: “An Impeachment Conviction After He’s Left Office Won’t Make My Wife Any Less Ugly”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Before he left office, the former President of...

Museum of Holocaust Denial Hires Stephen Miller as New Director

LAKE FUROR, FLORIDA -- When the previous administration left the White...

Gaetz Blames Cancel Culture for His Inability to Bring a Woman to Climax Even Once

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there is one thing Congressman Matt Gaetz...

Biden Lifts Ban on Seniors With Bone Spurs Serving in Active War Zones

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Joe Biden signed two executive orders...

Huckabee Sanders Says She’s Running to ‘Prove You Can Slap Lipstick on a Pig and Call It Governor’

EDITOR'S NOTE: Offended by us calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders a "pig"...