Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State

"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity and politics don't mix." Jesus Hubert Christ is not a fan of Project...

Single Term President Loses One More Vote Count and “Wins” Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When it comes to losing vote counts, there...

Klansman Blames Cancel Culture for Getting Fired After His Hood Slips Off

COUSINBANGER, KENTUCKY -- For the last fifteen years, Clem C. Calhoun...

McConnell Blames Arsonist for Torched Building, Says He’s Not Guilty

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was...

Trump Impeachment Attorney: “If My Client Is Full Of Shit, You Must Acquit!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Michael Van der Veen, attorney representing former President...

‘The Mandalorian’ Will Digitally Replace Gina Carano With AOC Wearing a Mask

BURBANK, CALIFORNIA -- It’s been a busy week for Disney Star...

Ben Shapiro Announces That Scott Baio and Gina Carano Will Star in “Washed-Up Star Wars”

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- It didn't take long for embattled alleged actress...

Gina Carano Sets Up OnlyNaziFans Account

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- This week, alleged actress and former human punching...

Impeachment Lawyers Will Show Senate Republicans the Jar Trump Keeps Their Balls In

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, the second impeachment trial of former...

Would an Impeachment Conviction of Her Father Prevent Ivanka From Being First Lady Ever Again?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The second impeachment trial of Barack Obama's racist...

Graham Says House Managers ‘Better Prove Monica Was Blowing Trump’ Soon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Back when House Republicans impeached former President William...