Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

As Soon as Ron or Nikki Insults Heidi Cruz, I’ll Know Who I’m Voting For

The following editorial was written by Dustin Pewpsin, a right-wing commentator,...

George Santos Talked to Us About His Inspiration Behind Steamboat Willie

"...when you're someone like me -- and granted there are so...

First It’s Green Day. Who’s Next – Rage Against the Machine?!

The following editorial was written by Chad Beefington, a right-wing commentator....

Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand...

I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I...

Jesus: “Silencing Transgender People Isn’t Christian, It’s Cunty”

"I specifically told people to stop being judgmental little twatwaffles to...

Greene and Boebert Blast Cinco De Mayo as ‘Reverse Racist’

"...it's very rude and disrespectful, the whole holiday. You can see...

Disney Exec: Company Has Years of Meaningful Experience Dealing With Grumpy Dwarfs

During an investor conference call last week, Disney executives were confident...