WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden’s massive, multitrillion dollar infrastructure proposal was already going to face stiff opposing headwinds from Congressional Republicans, and now that some more details of the plan have come out, it seems Republicans might be blowing even harder than before.
“I think it’s utterly outrageous that these far left, Antifa-sponsored, cancel culture leftist Democrats would expect us to invest in society anyway,” Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX) told Fox News this morning. “Now that I know about this $200 million for converting Trump golf courses into public landfills, I’m against it, only harder. So much harder. Mmm. So damn HARD…er.”
MORE: MCCONNELL: “WHAT IDIOT GAVE THESE CORPORATIONS SO MUCH POWER IN OUR POLITICAL DISCOURSE?”
Cruz was expressing his anger over a provision in the Biden infrastructure proposal that sets aside taxpayer funds to buy up Trump branded golf courses and turn them into public landfills. When asked about the proposal, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki explained that the administration wasn’t “setting a red line” in front of it, but would like to convert the golf courses “into something Americans can actually use.” Psaki said that environmental experts have determined that “so much garbage is already hanging around” most Trump courses that it wouldn’t have any worse an impact on the ecological foundation of the communities in which the courses have been built.
“Honestly, are there very many Americans out there who don’t already free associate the word ‘garbage’ or ‘trash’ with Trump anyway? If you think about it,” Psaki explained, “it just makes sense from a branding standpoint. These are large plots of land that can actually be used for the greater good, instead of just making one guy feel good about his last name.”
Psaki told the press that President Biden believes taxpayers “will get a pretty good deal” on the purchase price of each course, as well.
“The former president is going to need lots of money available to fight off the multitude of lawsuits he’s facing,” Psaki said, “so we think he’ll be a very motivated seller. Bigly motivated, one might say.”
Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) expressed similar outrage to that of Cruz. However, Gaetz said he has a “very deeply personal reason” for opposing the landfill proposal.
“Some of us rely on finding fresh meat at the clubhouses on Trump’s properties,” Gaetz said while being interviewed on OAN. “So if you take that away from me, God only knows where I’m gonna traffic — excuse me — find my next victim. I mean lover. I mean lover-victim.”
Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.
MORE: BIDEN TRIPS THREE TIMES BOARDING AIR FORCE ONE WHILE DONALD TRUMP IS STILL NOT PRESIDENT
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.
