James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Posts from author

White House Cleaning Staff Accidentally Find Trump’s Russian Birth Certificate

Disney Needed Russian Imagineers To Finish Installing Donald Trump Animatron In Hall of Presidents

“The Last Jedi” Brings in Historic $23 Squintjillion Opening Weekend Haul

USPS Announces New “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

Pentagon UFO Program Makes Trump Demand Wall Be 70 Miles High

Vladimir Putin Unsure How To Follow Up Last Year’s Christmas Gift To Trump

Bill O’Reilly Sued For Sexual Harassment By His Vacuum Cleaner

Report: Aliens Told Pentagon Americans Are Too Stupid To Abduct Anymore After Trump Victory

CDC Adds “Giant Orange Douchebag,” “GFY,” and “No” To Their Official Lexicon

Literally No One Volunteers To Help Ann Coulter Qualify For Childcare Tax Credit

Trump’s Judicial Nominee Unsure What To Do When Handed “Judge’s Hammer Thingy”

Disney Declined To Buy Fox News Because They Can’t Afford Upkeep On Six Fantasylands

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