James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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GUEST EDITORIAL: I’m a Billionaire Writing a $15 Million Check to Restore Notre Dame. Here’s Why the Social Saftey Net is Unaffordable.

Editor's Note: The following is an editorial written by Calvary University Dean of Economics...

Trump Wanted to Drop Detained Immigrants at Local Taco Bells and Del Tacos

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump has faced stiff backlash from Democratic lawmakers and various...

Arkansas MAGA Supporter Wants Taco Bell Shut Down For ‘Being Too Mexican’

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- When Clem O'Connell walked into the Taco Bell in his town...

French Authorities Find Charred Bible Signed by Trump in Notre Dame Cathedral

VILLE DE OÙ LES DAMES NUES DANSENT, FRANCE -- Fire investigators looking into what...

Pat Robertson Says God Wouldn’t Have Let Notre Dame Burn If It Was In ‘Trump’s America’

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist and living fossil record Pat Robertson told a podcast...

Barr Exonerates Dozens of Criminals Who Were Arrested After Scooby-Doo’s Investigations

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a truly shocking and unforeseen chain of events, dozens of...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Watches Emotionally as Childhood Belfry Goes Up In Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While scholars and historians mourn the irreparable damage done to centuries...

Trump: “Aww, Bummer! My Tax Returns Were in Notre Dame!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump sent a letter to the House of Representatives'...

Barr Says No Evidence of Fire in Notre Dame Cathedral

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Authorities in Paris have not determined a cause of the fire...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Watches Emotionally as Childhood Belfry Goes Up In Flames

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While scholars and historians mourn the irreparable damage done to centuries...

Barr to Publicly Release 400 Pages of Black Boxes and One Sentence Fragment That Kind of Makes Trump Look Okay-ish on Thursday

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr will release a document he's calling the...

Trump Wonders Whether First Amendment Protects Omar Because She’s Not Christian

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the last several days, right-wing pundits and politicians have attacked...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....