James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Trump Orders ICE Guards Posted at Entrance to Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As Disneyland Park opens its new Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge attraction,...

Trump’s Best Irish American Friend Ronald Says The President Has ‘Exquisite Taste in Hamberders’

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS -- While overseas on a state visit to the United Kingdom this...

Trump Supporter: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his podcast, right-wing YouTube...

Steven Crowder Hates Socialism So Much He Thinks Trump Should Nationalize YouTube and Force Them to Monetize Him

MIERDA EN LA CABEZA, TEXAS -- Scientists aren't quite sure what right-wing YouTube star...

Eric Trump: “Daddy Used to Call It ‘D-Day’ When Me and Don Jr Gave Him Our Report Cards!”

WHERE THE NAKED LADIES DANCE, FRANCE -- On the 75th anniversary of the allied...

Thought of Boston Straight Pride Parade Gives Mike Pence Full-On Chubby

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whether or not the city of Boston permits a "straight pride"...

John McCain’s Ghost Sneaks Into White House and Teabags the President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Secret Service is reporting at the time of publication that...

Trump Assures His Supporters ‘Bloated, Criminally Corrupt Cu*t’ is British Term of Endearment

AIR FORCE INDIVIDUAL ONE -- This week, President Donald Trump has been visiting the...

Town Republican Okay With Abortion Rape Exception ‘Only If She Wasn’t Askin’ For It’

One local Republican thinks abortion laws should be altered in his state, but only if a woman can prove she didn't in some way deserve to be raped.

Trump Says He Regrets Every Abortion He Paid For and Not Paying For Don Jr’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This weekend, President Donald Trump spoke at CPAC -- the Conservative...

Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in the urgent care...

John McCain’s Spirit Sneaks Into White House and Teabags the President

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Secret Service is reporting at the time of publication that...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....