James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Trump Takes Credit for James Holzhauer’s Winning Streak and Its Conclusion

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Word has gotten to President Donald Trump that James Holzhauer has...

14 Hours in the UK Without Fox News Convinced the President That Donald Trump Is a Threat to America

LONDONTOWNSHIPSHIRE, ENGLANDVILLE KINGDOM -- Upon arriving in the United Kingdom for a three day...

God Sent 40 Million Prayers for Donald Trump Straight to Voicemail

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This past weekend, Franklin Graham called for a "Special...

Researchers Identify New Strain of Aggressive Rectal Cancer and Name It “William Barr”

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN -- A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of...

Researchers Identify New Strain of Aggressive Rectal Cancer and Name It “William Barr”

LAKE CRISE CONSTITUTIONNELLE, MICHIGAN -- A new, fast moving and particularly aggressive form of...

After 14 Hours in the UK Without Fox News, President Convinced Donald Trump Is Danger to America

LONDONTOWNSHIPSHIRE, ENGLANDVILLE KINGDOM -- Upon arriving in the United Kingdom for a three day...

Trump Outraged Queen Elizabeth Was Watching CNN in the Throne Room When He Arrived

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Queen Elizabeth was sitting on her throne, speaking with various aides...

UK Protests of His State Visit Prompt Trump to Threaten “American Revolution II”

LONDON, ENGLAND -- The American president's state visit to the United Kingdom is not...

Trump Says His First Lady Is ‘Way, Way, Way Hotter’ Than Meghan Markle

LONDON, ENGLAND -- President Donald Trump's state visit to the United Kingdom is already...

Economists Predict Medicare For All Could Be Funded For 400 Years By Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A nonpartisan coalition of economists has published the findings of an...

Pro-Life Evangelical Wants to Officially Move Christmas to March

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and music sensation Jethro Bohiggins is petitioning...

Alabama Decriminalizes Rape To Keep More Families Together

PALPATINE FOREST, ALABAMA -- In a truly unforeseen turn of events down in the...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....