James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Nation Devastated to Find Out McConnell Will Probably Recover From Fall

Over the weekend, news broke that Senate Majority Leader and Satan's Best Friend Mitch...

Trump Says That He Misses Blaming His Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sister publication The Political Garbage Chute reported last week that recent...

5 Reasons America Has Mass Shootings That Aren’t How Easy It Is For Just About Any F**king Idiot to Get a Gun

America has mass shootings. Though, to be perfectly frank and fair, it has racism,...

Local Gun Rights Activist: Mass Shootings ‘Aren’t That Big a Deal Because Everyone Dies’

One young libertarian gun rights activist explains why mass shootings aren't so bad -- because "mortality."

ISIS Asks Trump For Tips on Inspiring Young Men

SOMEWHERE IN SYRIA -- The terrorist organization known as ISIS, or Daesh, alleges that...

Man Blames Violent RPGs For Inspiring Him To Attack School Full Of Young Wizards

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Authorities with the Ministry of Magic are confirming at this hour...

Trumper Blames Gilroy, El Paso, and Dayton Shootings on AntiFa, Weakened Muslim Ban, and Border Wall Fight

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing YouTube star and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins is an...

America Salutes Its Constitution With Back to Back Mass Second Amendment Celebrations in El Paso and Dayton

In two separate cities on back to back days, America honored its most sacred...

Weather Channel To Start Including Local Shooting Forecasts in U.S.

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- In the wake of a pair of mass shootings,  one in...

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Friends ‘Listened to Science,’ and Vaccinated Their Baby

SPRING FALLS, CALIFORNIA -- 46-year-old California resident Dennis Myers calls himself "mostly apolitical," but...

Trump: Only People Who Voted For Him Should Have First Amendment Rights

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, less than a month after being the conclusion of...

White Guy Annoyed Black Community Won’t Listen To His Advice About Problems He Says They Don’t Have

PAS D'EMPATHIE, CONNECTICUT -- Matthew Palumbozo is 26, white, and extremely confident he knows...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....