James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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House Republican: Hillary Clinton Behind Epstein’s Death and His Dog Being Run Over While Chasing a Truck

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressman Tom Thompaulsen (R-AR) is convinced that former Secretary of State...

Local Man Loses Track Of Which Mass Shooting It’d Be Inappropriate To Talk About Gun Control After

"Was it the one yesterday, or earlier this week...last month? Shit. I can't remember."

El Paso Shooting Victim Asked If She Could Be Shot Instead of Getting a Presidential Visit

EL PASO, TX -- An victim of the deadly mass shooting in El Paso,...

Gamestop to Start Requiring 7-Day Waiting Periods on All Violent Video Games

GRAPEVINE, TEXAS -- Videogame retail giant Gamestop held a call with stockholders today and...

Congresswoman Suggests Trump ‘Go Back to the Overflowing Toilet’ He Came From

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) was stopped on her way to the...

Man Who Fractured Kid’s Skull For ‘Disrespecting’ Anthem to Receive Presidential Medal of Nationalist Psychos

SHITDICK, MONTANA -- A man who beat and fractured a 13-year-old boy's skull because...

MAGA YouTuber and Musician Drops New Country Single and Video: “I F**k The Flag”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- A pro-Trump singer/songwriter on the Confederate Records label has...

6 Ways Americans Can Address Mass Shootings Without Actually Doing Anything About Guns

Okay, America. Maybe it's time to slow down a little bit on the mass...

Call of Duty Designer Apologizes for Inspiring World War II

A man who worked on the design of one of the original "Call of...

Trump Promises to Write MAGA Bomber Every Day He’s in Prison

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last year, Cesar Sayoc sent pipe bombs to over a dozen...

FACT CHECK: Is The Babylon Bee Being a Whiny Little Bitch?

Right-wing megachurch The Babylon Bee is currently the middle of quite a public feud with...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....