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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a few facts about American politics: It's largely a two-party system We vote for presidents once every four years The popular vote doesn't always decide the president Democrats started the KKK...
Lifestyle

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as "Sleepy Joe" being so frequently unable to keep himself awake, they're missing the larger point. Trump has once again started blazing a trail..." There's a hot new trend among conservatives, and...
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LGTBQ+

Stable Hands Confirm Marjorie Taylor Greene Has Always Been Anti-Grooming

Ever since Gov. Ron DeSantis's lizard faced press secretary defended Florida's controversial "Don't Say...
U.S. Politics

Putin Endorses Trump’s Endorsement of Dr. Oz

Last week, former President Donald Trump attempted to play kingmaker again, and waded into...
LGTBQ+

DeSantis is Right! I Was Groomed for The Soros Transgender Illegal Immigrant Army in School.

The following editorial was written and submitted to us by a Florida resident, who...
Women's Rights

Pregnant Democrat Still Undecided Whether to Murder or Groom Her Fetus

She has some time to decide, but not all that much time, and 28...
Lifestyle

We Have Our First Black Female Supreme Court Justice, But When Will It Be a White Man’s Turn?

The following editorial was submitted to this outlet by Dick Richardson, a conservative podcaster....
MAGA News

Report: Marjorie Taylor Greene Doesn’t Let Water Within 20 Feet of Her

Ever since she was sworn into office in January of 2021, freshman Congressmare Marjorie...
Science & Medicine

Doctors Renamed a Vicious Form of Bowel Cancer After a Current Member of Congress

The National Board of Naming Medical Things convened this week and afterward issued its...
Lifestyle

I Was Tired of My Kids Being Groomed So I Put Them in Catholic School Where They’ll Be Safe

The following is an editorial submitted to us by Florida resident Chad Beefington. Chad...
LGTBQ+

Tennessee Man Can’t Talk to New Bride About Their Florida Honeymoon While in Florida

This summer, while she waits to start her senior year of high school, 16-year-old...
Tech

McDonald’s Cashier Offers to Buy Truth Social For 25 Cents Per User

Billionaire Elon Musk joined the board of social media site Twitter this week, after...
Business

Matt Gaetz and Roy Moore Are Opening a Grooming Business That Won’t Cater to Pets

Congressman Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) is teaming up with former Alabama Supreme Court Justice and...
Conservative Media

Glenn Greenwald Only Drinks Wine at Least 30 Years Younger Than He Is

The World's Only Ethical Journalist, Glenn Greenwald, told Russian Marionet Magazine in a new interview that...
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Lifestyle

I Asked a Klansman If He’s Voting For Biden Since They’re Both Democrats. He Punched Me.

"Man, it's really true what they say about Democrats. They're snowflakes." We all know a...
Lifestyle

For Conservatives, Fart Naps Are Quickly Replacing Power Naps

"While some might casually observe the irony in someone who belittles his opponent as...
Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)