James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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Trump Demands Electoral College Make Joe Biden Repeat His Senior Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Electoral College meets today to officially declare former Vice President...

Supreme Court Rules the Constitution Still Takes Precedence Over Presidential Egos

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, the Supreme Court put what could be the final...

Supreme Court Decides: ‘Fuck Trump’s Feelings’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In three days, the Electoral College will meet and confer a...

Trump’s Lawyers Ask Supreme Court to Declare His Hands and Genitals ‘Normal’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The outgoing president isn't done filing lawsuits with the Supreme Court....

TIME Magazine Names Trump ‘Sore Loser Crybaby Bitch of the Year’

This week, TIME Magazine named President and Vice-President-elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris as...

106 Republican Congressmen Order Eggs Benedict for Caucus Breakfast

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Something rather extraordinary happened this morning. Over one hundred elected members...

106 House Republicans Sign Brief With Supreme Court Declaring Trump’s Genitals ‘Tasty and Habit-Forming’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the days in both the Trump administration and the Republican...

48 States File Federal Suit Claiming Facebook Should Be Broken Up Into Smaller Havens for White Nationalism

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Forty-eight of the fifty states in the union just filed a...

Trump Sues Trump Campaign for Losing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the course of his single term as president, Donald Trump...

Trump Claims Alternative Victory in Alternative Election and Will Stay On As President of Alternate Reality

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Donald Trump is growing more and more desperate to hold onto...

20 States Sue Texas for Being Embarrassing Morons

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Twenty individual states have filed an emergency countersuit against the State...

While Biden Is Sworn In, Donald Trump Wants Air Force One Packed With Supporters He’ll Fly to Guyana

Sister publication Alternative Facts reported this week that President Donald Trump has some rather unique and...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....