Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Ivanka: “Why Would Daddy Excite an Erection When He Knows That’s My Job?”

LAKE PARIAH, FLORIDA -- Life after her father left the White...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Rand Paul Tells Chris Wallace It’s Unconstitutional to Do Things That Are in the Constitution

In an interview that aired on Fox News this weekend, Sen....
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

AOC Reiterates She’ll Never Fuck Anyone Who Writes For the Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- No matter how many attempts at satire they...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

High Energy Alpha Male Too Chickenshit to Testify Under Oath About the Insurrection He Started

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the late 1990's President William Jefferson Clinton...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Colin Kaepernick Would Like a Word With Jim Jordan About “Cancel Culture”

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA -- Former NFL quarterback and activist Colin Kaepernick...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Man in MAGA Hat Burning Cross Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Americans Shocked to See Rich Middle-Aged White Conservative Woman Pretend She’s a Victim

It was a shocking scene in the nation's capitol today. Not...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Space Force Releases Initial Cost Estimate to Yeet Matt Gaetz Into The Sun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

For the Sake of Bipartisanship, Biden Offers to Call Cruz’s Wife Ugly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden ran on a message of...
James Schlarmann -
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