Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Orders Gas Cost $7 Trillion a Gallon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has served America as an...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

First Recorded Sounds From Mars Are Martians Thanking Us For Electing Biden

In a truly stunning turn of events, the first audio recordings...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Surgeon General Recommends Shitting on Ted Cruz Twice Daily

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The acting Surgeon General of the United States...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Senate Republicans Warn Garland They Won’t Tolerate Him Behaving Like They Tolerated Bill Barr Behaving

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Republicans sought assurances from President Joe Biden's...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Biden Says It’s Time To Take Eric’s Finger Paintings Off the White House Fridge

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When Joe Biden took office last month, he...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Nation Grips Itself for Another Week Without a Presidential Golf Outing

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For four years, if there was one thing...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Scientist Says Boebert Was Created In a Lab With Sarah Palin’s Brain and Wayne LaPierre’s Dick Sweat

Recent GED recipient, former diarrhea inducing BBQ chef, and newly minted,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

United Airlines Ending Its Frequent Fuckface Miles Program

United Airlines has announced that after careful consideration of the events...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mexico Offers to Pay to Send Ted Cruz Back to Canada

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- While residents of his home state of...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Devastated Underage Dominican Prostitutes Left Out Of Limbaugh’s Will

SANTO DOMINGO, DOMINICAN REPUBLIC -- In a shocking blow to the...
Adam Hawkes -
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