Yearly Archives: 2021

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Criminal Justice

Judge Schroeder Invites Rittenhouse Over for Thanksgiving Dinner

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- This morning, Alternative Facts reported that Wendy Rittenhouse, mother of...
James Schlarmann -
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table

ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year,...
James Schlarmann -
Criminal Justice

Wisconsin Legalizes Murder While White

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Though it's not how laws are traditionally written...
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Science & Medicine

Biologists Confirm: Ted Cruz is a Sentient Crotch Cyst

In an unforeseen turn of events, sources say that top Republican...
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U.S. Politics

4 Highlights of Kevin McCarthy’s 8+ Hour Speech Against “Build Back Better”

Last night, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (Q-CA) mustered all the...
James Schlarmann -
Science & Medicine

Is “Let’s Go Brandon” Secret Code for “I Have a Micro Penis”?

Is the hot new catch phrase taking the Bible Belt by...
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Conservative Media

Bill Maher to Replace Monologue With Shouting at ‘Woke Kids’ to Get Off His Lawn

HOLLYWOOB, CALIFORNIA -- Beginning next month, viewers of Real Time With Bill...
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MAGA News

House Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Verbal Diarrhea From Boebert’s Defense of Gosar

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a free society, one that values and...
James Schlarmann -
Economy

Elon Musk Is Clearly a Better Person Than Bernie Sanders, and Here Are 5 Facts to Back That Up

One of Twitter's hottest beefs of the last month has been...
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Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Asks Jury to End Deliberations So He and Kyle Can Attend Proud Boy Meeting

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- Judge Bruce Schroeder and accused vigilante double-murderer Kyle...
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