Yearly Archives: 2019

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Totally Bulls*it News

On Lincoln’s 210th Birthday Trump Puts Jefferson Davis on Flip Side of Penny

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today marks Abraham Lincoln's 210th birthday, and President...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

MAGA Boy Pretty Sure He Can Insult His Way into AOC’s Stupid Commie Pants

RICCI RIVER, NEW JERSEY -- If there's one thing that 35...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

South Park Creators to Produce Jade Helm 2020: The Musical

Los Angeles, CA -- South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey...
LSplit -
Totally Bulls*it News

Liam Neeson On Shortlist for Trump’s Chief of Staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Chief of Staff position in the Trump...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Promises Mexico Will Pay for His Executive Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Days ago, Axios reported that President Donald Trump spends the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Tells Secret Service to Investigate Pelosi’s ‘Threatening Sarcastic Clapping’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, President Donald Trump gave the second...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Weezer Will Drop Album Full of Music Recorded by Other Artists Late This Year

CUOMO RIVER, CALIFORNIA -- Rock band Weezer is set to release...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

We Obtained a Leaked Transcript of Trump’s State of the Union

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Through a completely unforeseen chain of events, this...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Still Memorizing State Names Ahead of SOTU Address

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources in the White House are indicating that...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President’s Plane Renamed “Air Force Individual-1”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's aircraft has been officially rechristened. "Because...
James Schlarmann -
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