Yearly Archives: 2019

McConnell Confident Trump Can Fit His Entire Dick In There

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a hastily convened press conference this afternoon,...

Trump Takes Out Full Page Ad in NYT Demanding Death Penalty for 11-Year-Old Arrested for Not Pledging Allegiance

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week at Lawton Chiles Middle Academy in Lakeland,...

Elon Musk Buys and Reveals Star Wars Episode IX Title

SWILLYCORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Fandom of the sci-fi/fantasy film franchise known...

Trump Declares ‘Nation-SNL Emergency’ After Comedy Show Really Hurts His Feelings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is not done using the...

Trump Calls Putin and Wishes Him a Happy ‘Actual’ President’s Day

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- All over the country, the nation's schools are...

Trump Warns Dems He ‘Won’t Wait Two Full Years to Address the Next Made-Up National Emergency’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump signed a resolution...

Former Cellmate to Auction George Zimmerman’s Prison Dildo

DYLAN, FLORIDA -- Though he's a free man now, for several...

Trump: It’s ‘Treasonous’ That Andrew McCabe and Others Put Country Ahead of Loyalty to Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An explosive new "60 Minutes" interview and a...

Charlie Kirk and Ben Shapiro Locked in Bitter Custody Battle Over Shared Brain Cell

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Today, papers were filed in New...

Leaked: Former White House Communication Director Caught With His Hand In A Mooch

Air Force One -- A two-year old leaked White House pool...