Yearly Archives: 2019

President Trump’s Itinerary Ruined as He Struggles for Hours to Thread a Needle

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Alleged billionaire reality-TV star, failed steak salesman, and...

Trump Misses Blaming Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While taking a stroll on the grounds of...

Local Woman Anxious For Hatred Among Fellow Americans To Return To Pre-Trump Levels

LAKE GILMOUR, FLORIDA -- Scholars and historians seem to agree, the...

Trump Promises to Drop Out if Michelle Obama Enters 2020 Race

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told reporters today that if...

President Trump Asks All Intelligence Briefings Include Small Words And Big Pictures

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Trump administration has submitted an official request...

White House Engineers Will Downsize the Trump’s Big Red Button

Sister publication The Pastiche Post has reported this week that a...

Trump Asks White House Engineers to Downsize the Big Red Button

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The government's top engineers are working hard to...

Lahren: “Mermaids Are White, Just Like Santa and Jesus!”

LA CULERA RUBIA ARRUGADA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist muppet...