Yearly Archives: 2019

NASA Still Unable To Locate Edge Of Trump’s Stupidity

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scientists at NASA have yet to locate the...

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The Oval Office First”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg underwent three...

Trump: “I Didn’t Consider Nuking Hurricanes Because Everyone Knows You Nuke Tornadoes”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, Axios published a story that suggested President...

Man Chanting ‘Send Her Back’ Can’t Locate His Home State on a Map

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Last night, right-wing podcaster, commentator, and...

Mexican Government Releases Detailed Audit of How Much They’ve Paid for Trump’s Wall So Far

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- The federal government of Mexico has published...

Trump Hires Goon to Steal Greenland From Denmark and Hide It In the Alamo Basement

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump, having been rebuffed on multiple...

Senator Lindsey Graham Demonstrates How Much He’s Willing to Suck Up to Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Whatever happened between the 2016 presidential primary season...

Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies

When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.