Yearly Archives: 2019

Pro-Gun Right-Wing Pundit: 284 Mass Shootings in 244 Days ‘Too Soon’ to Talk About Gun Control

EMPTY HOLLOW, CONNECTICUT -- This weekend, CBS News reported that by...

White Woman Already Sh***ing Pure Pumpkin Spice

The calendar has just barely turned over into September, but 35...

Jesus Christ Reminds Americans Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Made of Kevlar

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, the Executive Vice-President of...

Tucker Carlson’s Dry Cleaner Won’t Return White Sheets Without Claim Ticket

REICH LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News host Tucker Carlson is reportedly...

Study Shows 10 Out of 10 People Against Abortion Never Have to Get One

A new study just recently published indicates that for every ten...

MAGA Supporter Wants to Know Why Twitter’s Algorithm Made Him Tweet Racist, Sexist, Homophobic Content No One Wants to See

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins...

Local Moron Doesn’t Understand Difference Between Climate and Weather

FARTKNOCKER FALLS, IDAHO -- 52 year old Matt Ricci does not...

Marijuana Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% Last Year

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research...

Rod Rosenstein Takes Barr’s Phallus Out of His Mouth So He Can Criticise Comey Easier

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Office of the Inspector General has released...