Tucker’s Putin Interview Was the Most Boring BJ Video I’ve Ever Seen on the Internet

“…in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had about whether Tuck is a shaft man, taint guy, or balls baron, I went over to Elon Musk’s Nazi chat site, and brought up the video. I gotta say, too, it was extremely, extremely, extremely boring.”

Hey man, I tried, okay? I really tried.

I’m not someone who likes to live their lives in a bubble. I try expose myself to things that might be difficult, or that could challenge my opinions and beliefs. For no other reason, than to understand how others think and feel about stuff.

That being said, I really had no interest in watching that BJ video that Tucker Carlson put out with Vlad Putin. For starters, there are already a lot of BJ videos on the Internet. I’ve never done an official count or anything, but I’m thinking that there are probably at least as many BJ videos as there are cat videos on the web, and while I have nothing against a BJ video, I just didn’t think I’d be able to find the time to watch Tucker’s BJ video, not with all the rest of the things I wanted to do yesterday.

Still, in the interest of fairness, and admittedly settling a sense of curiosity I had about whether Tuck is a shaft man, taint guy, or balls baron, I went over to Elon Musk’s Nazi chat site, and brought up the video. I gotta say, too, it was extremely, extremely, extremely boring.

Of all the BJ videos on the Internet, I think Tucker’s Putin BJ is the most boring. I didn’t learn any new BJ techniques, but I did get a really long-winded revision of history from Putin where he lied about pretty much all the things. I can’t recall a single other BJ video I’ve seen online that’s got more talking than BJ’ing, though the really weird part is that as the video went on, I started to realize that the talking was the BJ.

Fascist conservatives like Tuck and Vlad are just into a different kind of kink than most,  i guess. And I’m not here to shame them for that. I just think if you’re going to put out a BJ video, and debase yourself so hilariously, you might as well have an actual BJ in it, and not just a long, metaphorical one.

Maybe that’s just me.

Don’t get me wrong. The Tucker/Putin BJ video does have some things in common with traditional BJ videos. In most of the BJ videos I’ve seen, for instance, one of the participants doesn’t do as much talking, and mostly just gets out garbled noises and grunts while the other person defiles them. So in that regard, Tucker and Putin did in fact put out a traditional BJ video. Then again, for a BJ video, it really was nothing more than a lot of ass kissing, and if I wanted a video of ass kissing, I’d watch a video with some kissing of ass on either Pornhub or Fox News’ archive of Trump interviews.

The bottom line is that as a liberal guy I’m okay with any adult producing a BJ video. I don’t think it should be illegal for Tucker to do a BJ video with Vladdy Poot-Poot. I just think he’d get a lot more viewers if he delivered more of the goods, that’s all.

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