Presumably, there have to be some perks to buying the favor and attention of the President of the United States of America. Why else would financiers like Russian President Vladimir Putin or techbroligarch Elon Musk pump hundreds of millions of dollars into the presidential race, if there wasn’t the promise of some kind of return on their investments?
Some might presume that the quid pro quo arrangement would be subtle, and that the “kick-backs” or benefits to the person who bought the presidency would fly under the radar. Who really knows how many sweetheart contracts have been awarded to presidential campaign donors in moderately to barely legal ways? It would seem, though, that Musk is set to reap the benefits of his support of Donald Trump’s re-election bid in a very public way.
In a leaked email, Trump and Musk discuss the possibility of the SpaceX and Tesla CEO not just being made the co-head of the new Department of Government Efficiently Enriching Republicans, but also Musk being named as the official U.S. ambassador to an island that shares a special place in both men’s hearts.
Below is an excerpt from their email exchange.
Donny My Bitch! What's up bro? Given any thoughts to my ideas for ambassadorships? Your Boss, E
Daddy Elon, I've given it a lot of big, bigly thought, actually, and I love it. Not just because you bought my allegiance, either. I've always loved that island and it has a special place in my heart. So I say, "Yes." I'm going to run it by our mutual boss, though, because you and I both know he's the one who's dictating orders to both of us. So as long as Vlad says it's cool with him, then it's cool with me, MISTER AMBASSADOR! -Donny Fartnaps McDuck
Perfect, Don. Perfect. "Elon Musk, U.S. Ambassador to Epstein Island" does have one hell of a good ring to it, doesn't it? I only wish Jeff could be here to see what has come of our beautiful friendship. Let me know what Vladdy says, my guy. I'm gonna go shitpost transphobic memes on X, you know, like extremely busy and intelligent businessmen do? -E
Reached for comment, Rep. Jim Jordan (Q-OH) told reporters he thinks it’s a “marvelous idea” to make Musk ambassador to Epstein Island.
“If anyone knows the value of protecting and hanging out with sexual predators, it’s your ol’ Pal Jim Jordan! And I just think this is a marvelous idea,” Jordan explained.
“And if you’ll just let me slide the president-elect’s dick out of the way, I can articulate my position on the matter a little more clearly.”
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