Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin Pewpsin. The opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily this outlet, its ownership, or staff.

“It baffled me. Truly. I learn to read, and more importantly how to understand what I’m reading, and now I can’t help but see every left leaning meme, and what’s worse? I think some of them might actually be really funny!”

The Left Can’t Meme.

Let me repeat that, because it’s a phrase that only gets funnier and more original the more I use it.

The Left Can’t Meme.

You know what? It’s almost like a form of addiction! I just can’t help myself; I keep wanting to type it over and over and over again!

The Left Can’t Meme.

Except…well, thanks to the noble efforts of my wife and cousin, I can read now. You see, once Henrietta Pewpsin helped me through my adult phonics courses, something hit me like a flagpole on a capitol officer’s riot helmet. Something that shook me, at first, right down to the bottom of my good, clean, ammo hoarding, cross burning, God fearing, red meat eating, gas guzzler driving, Christian, conservative heart.

The Left…actually can…and does meme. Often.

And the weird part? They get tons of likes, comments, and shares.

At first, it really was so confusing to me! How could something that I was sure didn’t exist…actually exist? It’s like if all of a sudden there were dozens and dozens of examples of extreme weather events that indicate climate change is here and rapidly accelerating. Or if all of a sudden Fox News reported that Ashley Biden has directly refuted the extremely salacious allegations we all have been making about what she put in her diary.

It baffled me. Truly. I learn to read, and more importantly how to understand what I’m reading, and now I can’t help but see every left leaning meme! And what’s worse? I think some of them might actually be really funny! I’m afraid I may have to turn in my MAGA hat and golden shoes if someone finds out I’ve chuckled at a handful of liberal memes!

I think the worst part is the doubt in my heart. If I was wrong about the left’s meme-ing abilities, what else was I wrong about? Then, though, I remembered what the Patron Saint of Underage Puerto Rican Prostitutes and Oxy told me about liberals his entire radio career.

Rush Limbaugh told us that liberals lie. All the time. Even when it seemed like he had been caught in a lie, it was just the left lying about his lie. Once my Busch-soaked synapses put all that together for me. I was fine.

In the end, I realized that “The Left Can’t Meme” is a lot like other conservative catch phrases like “Christian Family Values,” and “Trickle Down Economics,” meaning that it’s wishful thinking. But what’s the difference between faith and wishful thinking? Nothing, that’s what.

And since we still live in a country where George Soros hasn’t personally ended freedom of religion, we get to believe anything want about liberals’ ability to meme. Or what’s in Ashley Biden’s doctored diary pages. So suck it, Libs.

THE LEFT CAN’T MEME FOREVER.

(It is pretty cool being able to read that now, honestly.)