Call Me Old Fashioned, But Women Shouldn’t Be Dancing at Football Games

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator Dustin Pewpsin. The views and opinions expressed herein are only those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet, it’s management, or ownership.

“Taylor Swift should stop encouraging other uppity women to attend football games, and instead write a song about the virtues of giving up your career to serve Donald Trump, your husband, and God in that order.“

There have already been a lot of words written by conservatives about how dangerous singer/songwriter Taylor Swift is to the republic.

This relatively young woman could damage the U.S. for years if she continues to encourage her fans to exercise their right to vote, because what could be worse for America than a generation of people thinking they have the right live their lives in liberty, pursuing happiness in any way they see fit? I literally shudder at the thought.

Allow me, though to add my voice to the chorus of conservatives sounding the alarm about T-Swift and her Swiftie Army, which I can only assume is made up in large part of Antifa Soldiers. Nothing is more frightening to me than seeing Taylor at an NFL football game dancing and having a good time.

Warning, this video could make you quite literally vomit blood through your genital openings:

Now, you can call me old fashioned if you want to, but I just don’t think women have any place at a football game. Period. End of story. And I don’t care if you storm the capitol in protest, I’m not going to change my mind on that one.

Traditional, and therefore strong, societies need to have separate, segregated spaces.

Women don’t belong consorting and confabbing at a football game any more than I belong in a sewing circle talking about tampons and birth canals, or whatever it is that women talk about when they’re allowed to meet without their husbands. In fact, as a conservative Republican, I can tell you flat-out that this country started going downhill fast when we stopped giving white men their own special places to use the bathroom or a drinking fountain.

Taylor Swift should stop encouraging other uppity women to attend football games, and instead write a song about the virtues of giving up your career to serve Donald Trump, your husband, and God in that order. It’s dangerous precedent for women to be at the football field dancing around to music. I have no problem being out here on a limb, warning America about the impending doom we face, I just hope that my words don’t fall on deaf ears.

Before anyone accuses me of just being old and out of touch, I asked my daughter about it,  as I took her to cheer practice, and she rolled her eyes at me and put her earbuds in. And even though I’m pretty sure I heard a Taylor Swift song faintly coming out of those earbuds, and even though she also gave me the finger and texted her friends that I was “peak cringe,” I know she agreed with me, because that’s what we conservative parents do — groom our kids to be exactly like us.

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