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The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
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McConnell Blasts Dems for Wanting to Change the Filibuster ‘Like That A-Hole McConnell Changed the Filibuster’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With control of the Senate resting a knife's edge of a...

McConnell Implores Schumer Not to Wield Power Unapologetically Like He Does

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For the last decade or so, Mitch McConnell ran the Senate....

Georgia Runoff Defeats Break Ancient Spell and McConnell’s Dick Turns Back Into Lump of Coal

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It happened with a sort of "cracking" sound, witnesses say. Then,...

Biden Says He’ll Nominate Abrams for “Secretary of Whatever the Fuck She Wants”

In just 14 days, Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the U.S. Senate voted...

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that an enormous rug...

Trump: “They Better Call The Witnesses Who Can Exonerate Me and Who I’m Forbidding to Testify!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry President Trump lashed out at Congressional Democrats, farting wildly...

McConnell: “American Justice is a Fair Trial Where the Jury is Corrupt, Evidence is Hidden, and Witnesses Can’t Testify”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Though the impeachment process is laid out clearly in the United...

Rick Scott: “Once Republican Votes Are Counted, There’s No Need to Continue Counting”

LAKE NOSFERATU, FLORIDA -- This week, President Donald Trump weighed in via Twitter on...

Eric Trump Worried He Won’t Get To Go Down Big Slide After McConnell Cancels August Recess

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A worried and anxious Eric Trump bounded into the Oval Office...

Trump’s Bone Spurs Flare Up As He Tweets Insult Over Senator Blumenthal’s Vietnam Service

President Trump used Twitter today to attack Senator Richard Blumenthal's Vietnam War record; and immediately his bone spurs acted up.

President Trump Asks Mitch McConnell To Change Senate Rules To Single Vote Threshold For Everything

After another harsh political defeat, Trump asks Mitch McConnell to change the Senate rules for him.

Latest articles

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...