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Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
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Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments,...
Criminal Justice

Trump Announces Next MAGA Rally Will Be Held in Rittenhouse Courtroom

FARTS-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- Former, one term, twice-forever-impeached President Donald Trump announced plans to hold...
Pew Pew!

We Asked Doctors and EMTs to Explain How Rittenhouse Could Render First Aid With His AR-15

A key component of accused double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse's defense has been painting the teenaged...
Science & Medicine

Princess Celestia Declares Ivermectin Shortage in the Pony Realm

CANTERLOT, EQUESTRIA --  In an early morning press release issued today, Head of State...
Religion

Satan Offers to Send Emerald Robinson to Med School

HELL -- NewsMax reporter and chief White House correspondent Emerald Robinson was permanently banned...
Criminal Justice

Rittenhouse Fires Attorneys, Says Judge is Doing ‘Good Enough Job’ Without Them

KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- In a stunning turn of events, accused double murderer Kyle Rittenhouse...
Conservative Media

McEnany: She’ll Put Jan 6 Subpoena on the Mantle Next to Her Autographed Pic of Trump’s Dong

The subpoena she receives from the January 6th select congressional committee will be given...
Lifestyle

Trump Jr. Not Invited to Thanksgiving With President or Man Who Thinks He’s Still President

LAKE MORON, FLORIDA -- Donald Trump Jr. will not be having Thanksgiving dinner with...
MAGA News

McCarthy Vows to Punish Gosar by Moving His Office Next to AOC and Giving Him a Key to Her Door

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Republican Congressman and Indiana Jones Bad Guy Paul Gosar of Arizona...
War on Christmas

When Will Biden Officially Cancel Christmas This Year?

Everyone knows it's coming. The former president warned us -- only he could protect the most...
Economy

Biden Says Treasury Will Add “In Soros We Trust” to All Currency

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden has directed the United States Treasury to prepare...
Science & Medicine

Santa Claus Will Require Proof of Vaccination Before Delivering Toys This Year

THE NORTH POLE -- Elected officials like Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) and Rep. Marjhorsey...
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Latest articles

Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....
Lifestyle

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...
Women's Rights

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...
Criminal Justice

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)