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The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
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Trump Says Supporters Will ‘Just Have to Settle’ for Making Suicide Pact Virtually During RNC 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the most highly-anticipated events at this year's Republican National...

Doctors Unsure Obama’s Foot Can Ever Be Removed From Trump’s Asshole

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Ever since former President Barack Obama spoke last night during the...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked and flown into...

Satirist Beginning to Suspect He May Secretly Be a Prophet

Aspiring satirist Johnathon Flake expressed a growing conviction to friends and colleagues today that...

Trump Declares Houses That Worship Him “Essential”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, the President of the United States of America declared the...

Groundbreaking Scientific Study Could Mean Donald Trump Jr Bigger Piece of Shit Than His Father

BOCA DE MIERDA, FLORIDA -- Last week, the National Council for Researching and Looking...

DNC: “We’re Not Taking Any Sides Except Against Candidates We Don’t Want You to Want”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Democratic National Committee released a statement today, perhaps in an...

Eric Trump Says It’s ‘Shameful’ That Joe Biden Got His Son Barista Job at Ukrainian Starbucks

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's smartest son with the name "Eric" appeared...

Woman Unpopular Enough to Lose Winnable Election to Literal Garbage Says Sanders is Unpopular

SELF-UNAWARE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton won the 2016...

Donald Trump Lists ‘F_ _king Your Mom’ as Only New Year’s Resolution

Donald Trump has a very short, not so sweet list of New Year's resolutions.

Study Shows 100% of Abortions None of Your Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely...

Rod Rosenstein Takes Barr’s Phallus Out of His Mouth So He Can Criticise Comey Easier

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Office of the Inspector General has released a report that...

Latest articles

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...