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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
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MAGA News

Pro-MAGA Fire Chief Slams Biden for Putting Out 20 Year Old Fire George W. Bush Started

WHISTLING DICK, MONTANA -- This weekend, President Joe Biden performed what most would call...
World News

George W. Bush Pretty Sure He’s Heard of This “Afghanistan” People Keep Talking About

FORT STRATEGERIE, TEXAS -- Since leaving office in 2008, former President George W. Bush...
World News

Trump Blames Taliban Retaking Afghanistan on Biden Not Sucking Up to Them

FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- The former, one-term, twice forever impeached 45th  Smartest President of...
MAGA News

Shockingly, Former Crack Head Might Not Have Been Right About Trump’s Reinstatement

The big day came. The big day went. Despite months of promises and assurances...
Economy

Rand Paul Self-Certifies as Lawyer, Says Nothing Wrong With Wife’s Stock Trade

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Doctor Rand Paul (Q-KY) and his wife might have been...
Science & Medicine

Texas Governor Sues School District for Using Crossing Guards

AUSTIN, TEX-ASS -- Governor Greg Abbott of Texas filed a pair of lawsuits today,...
History

Where Does the Constitution Allow for Delusional Losers With Hurt Feelings to Be Reinstated?

Since November 2020, it's become increasingly apparent that millions of Americans are under the...
U.S. Politics

Greene and Boebert File Articles of Impeachment Against Hunter Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The American right, led by pro-MAGA politicians and media figures, has...
U.S. Politics

Lindell: Trump Will Give Reinstatement Speech Written by a Team of Minotaurs

Tomorrow is it. The Big Day. An historic and truly unprecedented moment in history....
MAGA News

With August 13th Rapidly Approaching, Biden Still President for Next Four Years

In a matter of just hours, the calendar pages will turn, and it will...
Conservative Media

Sean Spicer Predicts Trump Will Have the Biggest Reinstatement Crowd Ever. Period.

GOEBBELS, FLORIDA -- Former White House Press Sniveling Toady Sean Spicer said on his...
Science & Medicine

CDC Urges Americans Not to Take Advice From Self-Certified Eye Doctors With Punchable Faces

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for disease control is warning Americans this morning to...
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Criminal Justice

Surely, We Don’t Expect Republicans to Suck Their Cult Leader Off All The Way from D.C.?

"Does anyone know how hard it is to have a long-distance relationship, much less...
U.S. Politics

A Firehose That Spews Diarrhea Told Me It’s Been Holding Mock Debates With Joe Biden

"...I'm not Harvey Keitel or Bobby DeNiro or anything, but I guess all that...
Criminal Justice

I Interviewed the Condom Donald Trump Didn’t Use When He Ivanka’d Stormy Daniels

"Prophylactic Americans have senses just like everyone else. And would YOU want to ever...
Criminal Justice

Who Hasn’t Told a Woman She Reminds Us of Our Child Right Before We Put Our Penis In Her?

"Turns out, most of us don't think about our kids before we fuck someone....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)